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May 20, 2005
where but California?
That's the question i've been asking myself since i got back here. When i left this city nearly 5 months ago, i had decided not to return. somewhere along the trip i got a little tiny bit homesick and started thinking about all the good there was in this city, and i poked a few questions around. out of the wonderful ether of the internet, an offer to live in my old house came flying my way, which involved the old roommmates bending over backwards to make it possible for me to travel during the summer and still have a room. with little hesitation, i said hell yes.
now i'm back here, and i'm looking across the country, where the grass is always greener. I realize that things are so easy here, because i've already put in the foundation time to build a fun busy life here. and while it's so nice to know where the good spots are and to have excellent friends, part of me longs for the difficult again, to be happily lost on my bike in a huge city and wondering when i'll run into a street that sounds familiar.
the chance stands that i could back out of here and bum those kindly former roommates out, but that leads me to question, to what am i going since i'm leaving so much good? the east coast seemed so new and different and ready to explore when i was there, and i'm chomping at the bit to head back on the 1st for 2 good months driving around the u.s. with my cousin, mountain biking and having adventures, but how will i feel if i'm out there in january and there's snow and the same crummy jobs i've been working out here? i'm not sure if i'm gonna throw everything to the breeze just yet, for a new colder wind.
Today i took the bilingual fluency exam at SF State. it was difficult, at least the spanish portion was, to the point where there were multiple students in there taking it for the 2nd, 3rd and even 4th time. if i don't pass (even odds on that) i can retake it in august, which will leave me with plenty of time to register and get into the interpreting program i've been considering.
If i don't get in, or if i lose interest, i can always stay here and save money, or bug out across the country. other options include going back to Colombia, visiting Steve in France, or trying to disappear completely.
USF gets out this week, and the dumpsters have been overflowing. megan took some photos, and i've been halfassedly filming with my new camera, even though the picture quality is crap. i still may make something of it though.
This weekend includes a birthday party, a special graduation party/punk rock breakfast on sunday, hanging out with Nessa of course, and trying to see many friends, including James and some other folks who are gonna be splitting town for for the summer. Even though i feel like i should keep my distance, this city draws me back in.
Posted by bendan at May 20, 2005 04:02 PM
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