I forgot one really important thing that happened at the race today. As mary and i rounded this corner, we saw a guy sprawled out on the ground, a bunch of people all bent down doing different things, and people running in all directions trying to get the attention of the police officers at each corner. It was weird because, my mind started instantly racing, going through all the CPR stuff, all the first aid i learned, trying to pull what little clues i could, such as somebody telling him to keep coughing, somebody else mentioning a heart attack. But the thing i thought about the most was the feeling of helplessness, of not being able to really do anything. I can't get to the police officers quicker, most of my first aid knowledge consists of send somebody to get help, figure out what the problem is, stop bleeding, treat for shock, the standard stuff that is easy to cover in two 4 hour sessions. But there wasn't anything i could do to help this person, actually that isn't completely true, as mary would say sometimes all you can do is pray, but somehow i still don't have enough faith to believe that that is enough. i wanted to be in there making the decisions, but i knew that i wasn't the person to be doing that, the people helping him were far more qualified than me. all i could was to keep going past, to hope that he was okay, and try not to create a scene. I guess i figured i wouldn't want a bunch of people gauwking at me if i was sprawled out on the ground. But is that just an excuse, because i was to scared and helpless to make a difference for this man. I don't know, but it has been kind of eating at me, and i can't decide how to feel. I don't know what happened to me, i saw the helicopter from washoe med fly over about ten minutes later, i figure they wouldn't have sent the helicopter if he was already dead, right? What a weird feeling, it might be the feeling i hate the most, i like to think there is always something you can do, buy maybe that isn't the case.
Well, i had written this big long speil all about how i felt about weddings and what could be done to make them more interesting for the other people invoved and how they should be remembered as a time to get all your friends together and you should be enjoying that, and a whole bunch of other stuff, it was almost a look into my inner soul and being, luckily i accidently closed the window, so now you are stuck with not knowing my feelings on any of those things.
The wedding was okay, i don't think i really want to type all the stuff again, so all in all, it was okay. I also went and ran the race for the cure 5k this morning with mary. For mary the race it a little more personal because of her mom and it was really amazing seeing all those people out there all supporting the same thing (and a few guys out there to win the race). It was a beautiful morning for a run, and as mary helped me realize, and even more beautiful day for a walk. But in hindsight i don't really mind, we got to enjoy the sunshine more, i got out of studying, mary actually enjoyed herself, and i realized that i don't need to be as focused on beating my time or beating other people, we weren't there to race, we were there to raise money and support for the cause, so based on that mary and were just as successful as the race winners.
In case anybody missed it, Joel got 2nd at his race in Donnington, which is his second podium finish in the last 3 races. That is awesome news considering how poorly his luck seemed to have been before that, with all the mechanical problems and what not. Hopefully the momentum will continue on into his last two races since trusting your equipment and knowing it is capable is a huge part of success. Everyone, wish him good luck so that he can have a 1st place in the future.
Also, in case you couldn't tell, i screwed up something and i posted a message twice, but now i can't delete either of them, so oh well, i guess i just have to live with it until i post enough that they disappear.
I have a controls test monday, a microprocessor design test tuesday, and a vibrations test wednesday, let the good times begin. I am going to a wedding for two of mary's friends this weekend, so that should be interesting. There will be just a bit more drinking and dancing at this one i assume, considering how little there was at the last one (read none). I will try to post some pictures, unless they are two scandalous.