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March 22, 2004

a longer entry

i'll say that if you just had a relationship end, then it might be quite intense to go see "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." maybe i'm dramatic, but for me, it felt a bit like an error i made this evening, though maybe not an error as much as a raw experience. my friend Heather and i went, and though i briefly drowsed during the opening credits, my eyes were stark open for the duration, and when it concluded and she dropped me off back at my car, i had a cry on her shoulder and felt embarrassed and then drove back to my house, where i'm listening to a borrowed alkaline trio cd and writing this, before i turn in to bed. I dont regret that my relationship ended, and I know Ill be happy again after I move, but I acutely miss the friendship that I loved so much. Its too soon to be friends, of course, but that doesnt mean I cant miss it.
All in all it was still a good film, maybe 2 months from now i would have liked it and appreciated it differently, more objectively, but i fear that tonight i had a look of shock on my face during the show. I guess Im sensitive to art, probably many will find it cheesy or not sophisticated but i remember having a long walk home alone after first seeing "American Beauty," which i thought was very well carried off, and apparently it touched a nerve with me at the moment, though it's not to say i did any crying over that film. ditto about the emoting over art for "Eternal Sunshine" though, in truth i'd be better off maybe if we would have went to see "Dawn of the Dead," or anything really.
so now i'm drinking tampico juice before i turn in, glad to have expunged this truthful and not-embarrassing-but-rather-harsh matter from my brain. i move from this town in 15 days, and Im not working enough during those days, so I feel like I have too much time to think. Ill try and counteract that with exercise and maybe less booze.

Posted by bendan at March 22, 2004 10:59 PM

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